Author: Brian Flanagan

I am the last barman poet / I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make / Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake / The sex on the beach / The schnapps made from peach / The velvet hammer / The alabama slammer. / I make things with juice and froth / The pink squirrel / The 3-toed sloth. / I make drinks so sweat and snazzy / The iced tea / The kamakazi / The orgasm / The death spasm / The Singapore sling / The dingaling. / America you've just been devoted to every flavor I got / But if you want to got loaded / Why don't you just order a shot? / Bar is open.
Posted on

The 9 Lives Atomic Kitten Apocalypse Canceller Drink

When I was a 22 year old kid in the attic with my only possessions waiting for that big break at expo 86 with Top Gun the only thing I could think about was ditching it all and starting a bar of my own.

Madonna Holy Water

Jozo was gonna be the DJ if only we could sell my mom’s music making keyboard for that Soundwave transformer with the cassette player. If only there was a pawn shop in the neighborhood like there is now. My keyboard was valuable and I wanted that tape player. Jozo kept trying to explain to me that they weren’t real cassettes and just toys. I couldn’t explain to little Joe that I just needed to get pumped up to end the inevitable Cruise sade into the middle east. I knew I should of backed out of Top Gun and been a bartender. I could only fake being a bartender for the movie cuz I couldn’t read. But now that I’m learning to read through color therapy I can make those drinks I couldn’t read on the chart. Joe knows I was tuff and represented CP at the Herbie Hancock break off. I let Joe rumble while I entertain the next generation. I taught generation Z what Les Grossman is. I taught them about Jude Law at the movies Boskowitz. Appreciate BF for life. NWO 4 Life Jozo you shiny happy Jew. Love, don’t hate Jozo.

9 Lives Drink

This drink is for Madonna. It’s called the 9 lives drink and it’s colored like original holy water.

Ingredients
3/4 oz Spiced Rum (Cruzan)
3/4 oz White Rum (Cruzan Aged Light Rum)
1-1/2 oz Pineapple Juice.
1 oz Orange Juice.
2 dashes Angostura Bitters.
1 wedge Pineapple.
Garnish: Pineapple.
Glass: Any Glass.

CONCLUSION

Cancel the Apocalypse

Madonna’s song holy water cancels the apocalypse now that Ke$ha taught us the truth about ur incredible theory on MTV. If you can’t afford those expensive vitamins drink from ye own cisterns. It’s in the Catholic bible I have heard.

Cocktails and Dreams!
BF

Posted on

The Princess Protection Power Drink

I’m Joe’s BF, Brian Flanagan. Tonight let’s wish Demi Lovato a good knight’s sleep. Jozo is a good knight that can’t afford a horse like his great grandfather. 3 of his grandfathers were knights at the jousting tournament. If only he could marry into a princess’ family and get his jousting horse back. He wouldn’t be Don Quixote tilting at Skull & Bones windmills.

Princess Protection Program

So let’s get to the Princess Protection Program drink.

A Shirley Temple is a non-alcoholic mixed drink traditionally made with ginger ale, a splash of grenadine and garnished with a maraschino cherry. Modern Shirley Temple recipes may substitute lemon-lime soda or lemonade and sometimes orange juice in part, or in whole.

INGREDIENTS

3 ounces lemon-lime soda
3 ounces ginger ale
Dash grenadine
Maraschino cherry for garnish

Shirley Temple Drink

This is the only thing you should give to girls who are mentally down and out. Non alcoholic princess drink. There are ways with vitamins and exercise but if you eat S.A.D. standard american diet like Brooke Shields you are gonna feel in the dumps.

When Jozo and me went fishing there was no lillypad cover over the lake. It was clear. CRYSTAL. Fish snapping at my line. My hand tensed on the wheel of fate.

Shirley was the little Princess before things in Hollywood got sordid. Jozo just wants to take us to the paradise city where Scientologists aren’t called clams Demi. Won’t you come on Joe’s wild white knight syndrome ride? Watch BF’s movie where Flanagan acts like Axl Rose just for laughs. I’m just as much a white Knight as Jozo. But things are getting hairy on the radar now that my favorite audience the Marine Life are dying out. David and the Cybil Shepherd tried to warn us. I don’t know what Pan Pacific type bullshit is going on destroying our valuable fish stocks. What will people eat without abundant fish? Small Fry sardines? No way Demi. BF needs bluefin sashimi like Les Grossman on set. Just Joking womyn. All BF needs is a new bromance with Jozo and our Outsiders gang in the Paradise City to be complete again. You complete me Bozo/Jozo. U COMPLETE ME

CONCLUSION

COMPLETE THE PAGE
we’re rooting for you Bozo/Jozo
we know who the first damsel in distress you ever saw was Jizzo
she’s telling you Do ji jozo. do ji. at year 117 you better lay your cards on the table
girls love our clown acting Jozo.
We must peer pressure this girl to eat better.
she’s on SAD standard american diet
she signed a disney contract. also bad.
these are the princess i wanted u2 protect from eyes wide shut bunga bunga
that is why my reactive mind summoned u during millenium
that’s all I can say for now
the rest is in elron’s secret files

Posted on

How to Make a Secret of Fatima Shot

Secret of Fatima

“After the two parts which I have already explained, at the left of Our Lady and a little above, we saw an Angel with a flaming sword in his left hand,” wrote Lucia. “Flashing, it gave out flames that looked as though they would set the world on fire; but they died out in contact with the splendor that Our Lady radiated towards him from her right hand: pointing to the earth with his right hand, the Angel cried out in a loud voice: ‘Penance, Penance, Penance!’”

The role in Top Gun couldn’t of been made without Bozo. Let’s see what Bozo and his little GF are really after. That big Fatima secret they keep hiding. A genius like me, Brian Flanagan, can see in an instant that this is nothing other than a cocktail recipe. A nuclear cocktail.

Last Samurai Bamboo Stick

What you will need for this cocktail first is “The Last Samurai” wooden cocktail sword. As soon as u get that sword, light that courage giving fire water before inevitable shoot downs in da club like fiddy cent without that wad of cash. Fire attracts the cave woman instinct 2 your cave.

Sambuca Shot

You can use Sambuca like Adriano back in the days of the Big Bam Boo, but to attract a Portuguese Princess you need to use Portuguese fire water. Here is what Brian Flanagan recommends.

Medronho

The berry of the arbutus bush is a pretty thing to come across as you drive the backroads of the Algarve. Its bright red fruit looks a lot like strawberries hanging from a small tree. But do not be seduced by this pretty plant. The locals have learned to harvest the ripe fruit and use it to make Medronho (med-row-nyo), a clear alcoholic liquid that packs the wallop of a mule.

I’m a seasoned whiskey drinker so I quite enjoy the burn as a sip of medronho makes its way down my gullet, but many of my friends and clients have found that its bite is a challenge. So beware if you give it a try.

CONCLUSION

Lucifer Bar

So here is the recipe:

The third part of the secret revealed at the Cova da Iria-Fatima, on 13 July 1917.

I write in obedience to you, my God, who command me to do so through his Excellency the Bishop of Leiria and through your Most Holy Mother and mine.

After the two parts which I have already explained, at the left of Our Lady and a little above, we saw an Angel with a flaming sword in his left hand; flashing, it gave out flames that looked as though they would set the world on fire; but they died out in contact with the splendour that Our Lady radiated towards him from her right hand: pointing to the earth with his right hand, the Angel cried out in a loud voice: ‘Pence, Pence, Pence!’.

This drink would really work well in Anaheim near Lucifer on Fox’s TV show’s bar. Trump’s nuclear Minute man sword vs Putin’s satan 2 nuclear sword is in your hands at the bar my friends. May it give u the courage to approach and get rejected or find that unicorn. That special girl who appreciates the minuteman quickness in a public place as well as satan 2’s tantric ability learned from listening to Sting mp3s. This is something a boy named elliot never did. May Trump and Putin’s swords be forever entwined in the peace of our Irish Lady of Knock. Romance at the bar always makes my Irish eyes smile.

Some have seen Dr. Mengele bring a different kind of love with finite non eternal i love you i love you not programming. Torturing Bozo was always one of my past times. Maybe one day you will hear about the dangerous missions i put him on all in exchange for a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

Cheers friends!
Cocktails and Dreams!

Yours Truly,
BF